December Reflection: Day 6

It's early on the 7th of December, so I'm reflecting about yesterdays happenings.  It all makes sense in my head--so the voices tell me!

Yesterday, I was feeling...

FESTIVE, so it was time for a few dozen Christmas cookies...the ones with the kisses in the middle.  I feel a bit edgy when I know there aren't any baked goods in the house.  My mom is completely to blame for this NEED.  We were kinda spoiled growing up when it came to baked treats.

PROUD to see Ella performing in her new gymnastics class.  She moved up to Level 2 and is loving it.  I can't wait to see how far she goes with it. 

completely OVER-THE-MOON EXCITED to get a text from Auntie Laura saying she found Emma's 5 library books at her house.  I could not understand what could have happened to them and searched this entire house.  And I did not have the extra funds to buy these books especially this month!  My kids weren't concerned about the cost...they were worried I was going to jail. 

and SADDENED by Ella's explosive break-down before bed.  It came out of nowhere and she was so angry at me.  She hasn't had a meltdown like that in a really long time.  In the stressful moments, I stayed as calm as possible.  I always feel afterwards that I could have handled it better or differently.  She hasn't apologized yet and I hope she realizes that one is necessary.  Live and Learn....

December Reflection: Day 4

O.K...I missed Day 3.  I've always like even numbers better.

Today, I felt...

GRATEFUL for my health.  After an "eventful" Friday night with the flu, I am glad to be upright and feeling better.  I am also so very grateful for my take-charge sister who, while driving to the cities, made some phone calls to my sister-in-law and dad to let them know I was very ill and needed help with the kids.  I am so GRATEFUL for those 2 who dropped what they were doing to take the girls out of the house and watch them for the day.  GRATEFUL, BLESSED, THANKFUL!!

SAD because Grandma Pat passed away yesterday and sad for the family members who did not get to fly down to Florida to see her in time.  She was a really "cool" great-grandma to my girls.  So glad they got to spend time with her this summer.

EXCITED to have my husband back in Minnesota.  He's been gone since Wednesday in Montana.  It will be nice to put him back to work around here!  Is it my turn for a vacation....?????

SLIGHTLY SHOCKED to hear that Grandpa Al's choice of movie last night while watching Emma was "Dumb and Dumber".  I guess it's never too early to start watching the "classics". 

December Reflection: Day 2

Today, I got MAD when my kids did not eat their dinner which was planned for THEM, not me, because I do not get real excited for mac and cheese and frozen chicken patties and then they asked for every snack at bedtime because they were SO HUNGRY!  Man, that irks me.  And yes, I got on my soap box about this and I'm sure they "digested" every word of it.

Today, I LAUGHED when Maija pointed to a bright yellow sticker dot on her library book and said, "Look Mom, it's on sale!"  Such a proud moment that was.  I have taught them well.  We DO NOT buy anything that does not have a bright SALE sticker on it!  And preferably one that says, "CLEARANCE"!

Today, I felt TORN when Maija cried throughout ECFE class because she knew I had to leave for 20 minutes for "Parent Time".  She just knew it was coming and she just kept telling me she wanted to go home.  Part of me says she's just 3.  Let her feel safe and keep her in my lap 'til she's ready.  But I guess at 3, she's supposed to get used to me leaving and coming back.  I guess I just didn't feel like having a life lesson with her today.  Today, I just wanted to let her be little.

Today, I felt PISSED OFF.  Pissed off at CANCER and that it is trying to take the life of another wonderful person in this family.  Josh's Grandma Pat, who was just here in Minnesota in August, looking amazing, funny as always, sharing memories, is in hospice care fighting to hang on.  I pray for her and that she finds strength, comfort, and peace.

 

Things I Love

Here's a few things that make me smile:

1.  Earlier this week, Lexi sat bravely in the chair at the beauty salon and got at least 4 inches chopped off.  She now has a cute, chin-length bob.  For the first time, there is a noticeable difference in the twins.  I love seeing them branch off and become their own little people. 

2.  I can't get enough of the Fall colors around our house.  I told Josh how funny it is that every year the leaves change color and yet every year, I am completely in awe.  It is so beautiful.  It's like my eyes can't get enough of the brilliant colors.  What a treat before winter comes.

3.  I love my husband for taking such good care of me this week--I had a small procedure done removing some "skin lesions" as the doctor called them.  He stopped and bought me lots of bandages, took the day off of work, bought me a dozen roses, let me rest, changed bandages, checked on me through texts...what a nice guy!  I love him.

4.  I am feeling so blessed to have our neighbors Andy and Val.  They love our kids and don't mind when Emma rings their doorbell and asks for an Oreo.  Val has helped watch the kids several times in the last few weeks and she LOVES that she can help.  It's so nice to have them in our lives.

5.  I love quiet time like right now.  The twins are still sleeping and I did not crawl back in bed.  I watched some news, folded laundry, did some Christmas shopping on Amazon, and now blogging.  My ears are so very HAPPY!

6.  For 3 months, Ella slept in her sister's room on an air mattress.  She finally moved back to her room and was sleeping on her bed.  Now, she is sleeping on her wood floor with a few blankets under a sheet she calls a tent.  I don't get it but now it's kinda funny.  I wonder where she will be sleeping next!?

7.  School is going well for everyone.  LOVE!

8.  In a few days, it is October.  I can't wait to get out the Halloween decorations--I went a little overboard when they went on clearance last year.  I love all things spooky!

9.  Everyone is HEALTHY.

10.  And last but to least, it's FRIDAY!

Sometimes, things just work out

Our first week of school is (almost) in the books and it couldn't have gone any smoother. 

Monday began with the greatest gift of all time.  Lexi, at the ripe old age of 3 years and 5 months, gave up diapers.  Well, actually she had no choice because we used up the last box and I REFUSED to give in to another.  This attempt at potty training began just like my last attempt 3 months ago--she wore underwear, but this girl has THE MOST AMAZING BLADDER STRENGTH.  She held it for over 24 hours.  Can you even imagine?  She didn't pee until I put her in a warm shower and made her go in there.  I, again, was beyond frustrated, but then on the evening of Day #2, she did it and it just clicked and she's been going on the potty non-stop with a big ole' smile on her face.

Ella LOVES riding the school bus.  In fact, this bus riding thing has actually changed my oldest daughter into a civil, jump out of bed and greet the morning kind of person.  Last year when I was driving, there was moaning and grunting.  I had to be on her case to get ready.  Now she's on Emma's case because "THE BUS IS COMING!"  I even told her today how I have never seen her this happy in the morning.  Thank you Virginia Bus Transportation!

Emma is doing well with the change from home life to every day kindergarten.  She is a girl of few words when it comes to the details of her day.  She needs to get more sleep I think--I'm still trying to adjust everyone's bedtimes.  She said she made a new friend--a boy named Dawson.  I'm happy that she's already comfortable going and we don't have tears or scared feelings about leaving home. 

And now, I am sitting here in a quiet house.  The twins are still sleeping.  Josh left for work.  I have the option of going back to bed (which I've done a couple times this week, not going to lie) or being productive or taking a really long shower or sitting on the deck or...

I have quickly realized this week that I am going to have more opportunities to get things accomplished, relax, make some better suppers!  That lasts, however, until 3:30 which is when the girls come home.  Then it's back to reality!

Well, look at this...2 in a row! 

Went school shopping in Duluth with Ella and Emma.  I was happy to go because well, I kinda like shopping.  Ella is another shopaholic.  Emma, on the other hand, must have asked me a million times after the first store if we could go home.  Little did she know that she only had 5 more hours to go!  Ha! 

I must have heard myself say, "No, I'm not buying that." a million times as well.  I wish I could splurge, but I had to, at one point, quickly remind Ella of the fact that we are a family of 6 stretching a teacher's salary as far as possible.  I think she got my point.

We got what we really needed--Ella needed pants, they both needed shoes, and Emma needed an entirely new wardrobe.  See for the past year, Emma has slowly redefined who she is and that, my friends, is a full-blown tomboy.  And in just the past week, she has completely purged all girl clothes from her closet and drawers leaving her with not much.  It was a bit frustrating because there were numerous new (girl) things we bought earlier this summer thinking she would wear them for kindergarten.  And at that point in her life, she liked them.  

Am I bothered by this preference?  NO.  Am I concerned about what kids may say to her and whether or not she allows it to affect her?  YES.  She is who she is and I love everything about her.  Not exactly crazy about the wardrobe issue but we will make it work.  There are bigger problems than that. 

Change

A few months ago, I posted saying that I would do better at posting.  I think, however, I've been using all my free time reading other blogs when I should be sitting my butt down to record what's happening in my world.  That was my whole point in starting this--for my kids to read what crazy thoughts mom had about being a mom. 

I think I even started to compare my life happenings to others--were they as exciting, as funny, as earth-shattering, as life-changing?  And I have realized that by doing that and not journaling, I was cheating my kids.  My mom's journal to me and my siblings is worth the world to me.  I can hear her voice, her sarcasm, her wit.  I want to leave that for my kids. 

So to begin, I have a few random thoughts:
The 2 older girls start back at school after Labor Day.  They are going on a bus this year.  It comes to our driveway at 6:50 in the A.M.!!!  To give you an understanding of how early that is, we (and I mean EVERYONE) haven't seen any time before 9:00 A.M. in several months.  We are night people, I guess. We are going to be hurtin' units as we adjust to this crazy hour.

For the past 2 years, I have been the "bus" leaving our house with 4 kids at 7:52 A.M. and arriving in the drop-off lane at 8:05 (on a good day).  Now, they will be riding the bus for an hour to get to the same place. We shall see how they handle it.  I am feeling completely unsettled about this decision. 

I feel that the house is going to be unbelievably quiet this year.  The twins, (again, on a good day), will play together for hours.  Will I be bored?  Will I stay motivated?  Should I get a job?  Should I start working on my teaching license?  For the past 3 years, especially, there hasn't been a lot of down time.  And sometimes, I don't "relax" very well--gotta be doing something or I feel guilty.  I don't like guilt either.

I guess I don't do well with change.  I shouldn't feel that change has to be painful, or scary, or cause anxiety.  These changes in our household are inevitable.  It's just another chapter, not the end of the book!  

Feeling Lucky

This is our 2nd full summer at our home on Ely Lake.  And I just love it.  We have had quite the heat spell this July and have spent hours in the water.  The girls are getting braver and more confident in their swimming abilities.  They are OUTSIDE experiencing nature.  They are having too much fun to fight, or nag, or be cranky.  As July is coming to a close, I am feeling a little sad that it's all going too fast.  I kinda wish I could freeze these blue-sky, 80 degree, kids laughing and splashing kind of days.  Here's some moments from "the lake":

Josh got his wish...kids who like to fish! 

The Girls of Summer

Emma is taking advantage of an awesome
slide at the neighbor's dock.

Lexi with her 29" Northern caught on her
rod with a little help from dad.

Maija also enjoys fishing off the dock
hoping for the big one to bite.



Ella and Ero taking the plunge.



SLACKER

Hi.
My name is Stacie, and um,
it's been almost 2 months since my last blog.

SO SUE ME!!!

Ha!

Here's our life, or rather, the last 2 months in pictures.

Lexi (L) and Maija turned 3 on March 28th.  WOW...we've come a long way. 

They have grown from these sweeties to...

to these sweethearts and have become the best of friends!

I hope they always hold each other this close!  Lexi on the left and Maija on the right.

We celebrated Easter with candy, bunny tracks, and even real bunnies!

And this Easter was made even more special with a Baptism of Annika Mary.
Josh and I are the proud Godparents!

Due to MANY illnesses this winter, Lexi and Maija's birthday party had to be cancelled. 
So Emma shared the spotlight with the twins on her 5th birthday. 
We had a swim/pizzaparty for all the relatives. 
I had to include this pic of my dad lighting the candle on our SpongeBob cake with his lighter. 
We would have had many unlit candles over the years if it weren't for his smoking habit!  HA!

Em-Dawg celebrated on her own on her actual day. 
The girl has a unique sense of style at such a young age. 
And not many people can rock the camo-look like she can.



This is Emma on her last day of preschool.  She had a
blast and can't wait for kindergarten to start. 



Ella was busy this Spring finishing up dance lessons and preparing for the recital.
1 dress rehearsal and 3 performances in one week.  She completely surprised me. 
She went from tears and nerves prior to the dress rehearsal to rockin' her routines
with confindence.  She had a great attitude and really enjoyed performing.

Finally, Ella finished up her 1st grade year with some World Games,
a field trip to the Bear Center in Ely,
a bridging ceremony up to Brownies,and a wonderful report card. 

Many more pictures to come of our summer fun.  I know I can do a better job keeping this updated.  I should say that in Ella's report card, there was one area where she went from an "E" to an "S-" and I feel TOTALLY responsible..."Turns in Homework".  See, I was slacking in all aspects of my life, I was a well-rounded slacker, a slacker of many trades, HAHA!  I hit a rough patch.  Enough said!

Let Her Be Little

Last night as I was tucking in Ella, she started tearing up and I asked her what was wrong.  She's often been my little worrier about everything.  She then said she was scared to be a grown-up and wanted to stay 7 forever and that she didn't want me to get any older and die.  Holy cow...she then said she was scared to learn how to drive and then she began talking about career choices and making money. 

It breaks my heart a little knowing that she has these worries weighing her down.  I was the same way when I was little.  I worried about the craziest things and it can be a lonely feeling because when you tell someone what is stressing you, and it's silly, the person can blow you off and not even think twice about what you said.  I am trying not to do that to Ella.  I am trying to listen and understand and then reassure.

I hope she enjoys her time being a "kid" and even when she does have to do grown-up tasks, she can always be a kid at heart. 

REALLY??

Today started at 4:30 A.M. 

Ella was home yesterday with a fever.

She came down to our room, woke me up and needed some ibuprofen.

We walk upstairs.

I step in something very, VERY wet.

The dog has peed on the stairs...for the THIRD time in a couple of weeks.

Ella learns some new vocabulary at 4:30 A.M.

I give Ella some meds and tuck her in.

Before I go and clean up dog pee for the THIRD time, one of the twins starts to cry.

I go in their room, walk over to Lexi's bed, bend down to touch her, and gasp as I touch something very, VERY wet.

Lexi has thrown up.

Their birthday party has been rescheduled from Saturday to Sunday.  Deuce goes to the vet next Friday. 

REALLY???

Never a Dull Moment

Can't believe it's been a month since my last post.

EVERYONE tells me how quickly these years will FLY by.

I GET IT.  I BELIEVE YOU.

Here's the last month in a nutshell:

1.  Lexi gave up her beloved pacies!!!!!!  I've been talking about the Paci Fairy and all her magic and then one night, right before bed, Lexi decided that that was the night to say good-bye to babyhood.  The Paci Fairy had to think fast and come up with a gift for Lexi to wake up to--a Hello Kitty metal lunch box filled with candy was plenty for this 2-year old!!

2.  I got a J-O-B!!!  Ya, I know, I can't believe it either.  I get one of those paychecks for my efforts too!!

I am working 3.5 hours a day at Ella's school.  I had only a few days to find help with watching the kids and because I am so fortunate to have close family and friends, I accepted it.  I started last Monday after scrambling to the stores that weekend to find "work" clothes.  (I've spent the last 7 years in my comfy jeans and my pre-stay-at-home clothes either didn't fit or they looked really 2001!)  It's been an adjustment to say the least.  My brain needed to be woken up--I think it has been on autopilot for a long time.  It's hard not to worry about the kids even for that short time (although they are doing well with the change).  But it's a great opportunity.  I need to start thinking about MY future and what it holds next for me. 

3.  We started on the basement remodel!  This is exciting for us because we could use the extra floor space.  So my dad generously offered to help transform his once workshop area into our family room with big closets!!!  I will post pics of the progress.

4.  All the kids seem to be going through some exciting events too.  It's kindergarten registration week for Emma.  O-M-G!  So excited for her because I think she's going to love it.  In just a few weeks, Lexi and Maija turn 3!  I can't quite tell if we are leaving the Terrible 2's or just entering the Trying 3's.  HA!  We shall see.  Ella has been busy with all her activities and has been preparing for her 1st dance recital in the beginning of May. 

5.  And an update on potty training--we are NOT potty training at the moment.  I am still putting all my eggs in the "it will just happen" basket. 

Things are really going well around here...I am thankful for that, but man, the days are flying by.  I hope I can keep up!

Potty Training 101

Potty training the older 2 girls was pretty easy and all I can say is that it literally "just happened".  For both Ella and Emma it was right around their 3rd birthdays and it just happended on their own free will in a matter of days.  I'm not going to lie--with Ella, being our first, I was researching Dr. Phil.  I was buying the potty books.  I bought the doll that peed when you gave it a bottle of water.  Nothing worked, so I just hoped that all would work itself out on its own and it did!

Well, in a little over a month, the twins will be 3 and I've been trying to play the calm, laid-back mom and continue to hope that they, too, will figure it out on their own.  HOWEVER, there is that nagging fear of WHAT IF THEY DON'T!!!!!!

But starting yesterday, I caught a glimpse of hope that soon I may lead a diaper-free life!  And I thought that this time around I should document Potty Training in the Lamppa household...with twins!

STEP 1:  BECOME ONE WITH YOUR UNDERWEAR
Lexi and Maija went diaper-free for about 4 hours yesterday and decided to wear underwear.  But why wear 1 pair when you can wear every pair in the drawer?  That's right folks, they put on about 10-12 pairs EACH.  There's no way we were cleaning up pee on the carpet with that much absorption! 

Then we had to attend a basketball game last night.  So we peeled off the layers, put the diapers back on, and HAD to pack up the the underwear in a gift bag and bring them with.

STEP 2:  GET TO KNOW YOUR POTTY CHAIR
Maija woke up still enthused about underwear.  She put on a good 10 pairs and wore them all day.  She asked to go sit on the potty several times.  While waiting for SOMETHING, she asked me to hold her hand, sing her a song, and we even read some books in the bathroom.  Then she discovered that she was strong enough to move the potty chair, so wherever I went, Maija and the chair were close behind.  When I stopped, Maija put the chair down, pulled down all the layers, and sat down.  When I moved to the next room, she pulled everything up, grabbed the chair and followed. 

STEP 3:  DON'T LOOK BACK
Once a child is enthusiastic about this whole process, GO WITH IT!  Neither Maija nor Lexi has had a successful trip on the pottty.  And yet, Maija wanted to wear her underwear to bed tonight.  I didn't even start to argue.  I put a towel under her butt, gave her a kiss good-night, and am planning on doing some wash tomorrow.  But if history repeats itself, I could have a potty-trained kid in a few days! 

Hopefully, that's the end of Potty Training 101.  Feel free to attempt these crazy 3 steps with your own little people!

It starts out so innocent...

I could be talking about a brand, new little life--so innocent, so amazing, so unbelievably precious. 

Let's Hear It For the Girls, people!!  After 5 nephews, I am a proud aunt to a little bundle of sweetness named Annika Mary.  She was born today, a few days early, and I got to go to the hospital to get my baby fix meet her. 

My brother and his angel!

However, I am not talking about the innocence of a newborn.  I am talking about the beginning stages of hoarding.  Yes, hoarding.  We've all seen one of those reality shows about hoarding.  And we, the organized, clean, clutter-free, people of society all ask, "How do people live like that?" or "How does it get out of control?"  

My name is Stacie and I am a mother to a 2-year old hoarder.

I will leave her identity a secret but her name rhymes with "papaya".

It started out so very innocently.  She had to hold "things"--anything, something.  She just had to have her hands full of stuff.  Then, as the hoarding progressed, she discovered that clothes had pockets and she would only wear shirts and pants that had pockets and they would be stuffed with her prized possessions.

It then continued on to carrying backpacks and purses and these bags had to travel everywhere with her weighing down her little frame.

And as I said earlier, it started out so small and innocent.  Today, her hoarding has escalated to this: 



This is "her" in November.  I guess I forgot to
mention the stroller/shopping cart phase of it.



Her crib in November.  It was manageable at that time. 



Only a few short months later, this is how she sleeps.  She feels safe and
secure surrounded by her things and FREAKS if I dare touch it. 
Sounds just like the show doesn't it?

I will keep you posted on its progression or tell you when her episode is going to air on TLC.

Seven and Sassy

If you're wondering what this mess is in the pan,
it's a homemade icecream cake and it is YUMMY!

Somehow I became a mom to a seven-year old.  We celebrated early on Saturday with all the relatives and on Monday, her actual birthday, we took her, a friend, and her sisters out to McD's and then for some swimming. 

The Lamppa Cousins, minus Maija. 
There's always 1 who doesn't want to cooperate...
and it's usually one of mine.

Jen, the human jungle gym.



Lexi loves swimming on her own now!

Her gift from Josh and me was the American Girl doll, Josefina.  She asked for it for Christmas and then her birthday.  I wasn't crazy about getting her another expensive doll since a few Christmases ago she got her My Twinn doll which is a beautiful look-a-like doll.  But this was the only thing she asked for.  So she painstakingly decided which one she wanted and then proceeded to change her "Final Decision" every 24 hours.  Then she believed that I had to drive down to the cities to buy it so she kept coming up with travel plans for me.  I let her believe that yes, I would have to drive all the way to the AG Store.  But somehow it magically appeared on Monday.  She hasn't quite caught on to the powers of the internet I guess.

Ella had a memorable year being six.  She started 2010 as a kindergartener who loved every minute of it, who didn't want it to end and who wanted to return there after the summer.  She is now a 1st grader who READS and is a SUPER speller and who has great friends.  She took swimming and tennis lessons for the 1st time this summer and FINALLY found her confidence in trying things without me shoving and begging.  What a treat that is!!  She is in her 2nd year of Daisies.  She is in Sunday School and she joined dance and basketball for the 1st time. 

She still wants to be a teacher when she grows up and there's nothing more hysterical than listening to her be a teacher to her younger siblings.  It borders on Drill Sergeant/Dictator, but the littles LISTEN to every crazy command she gives.  And for great lengths of time too!  In this loud, authoritative voice, she tells them how to sit, how to walk, where to walk, where to put their hands, when to inhale/exhale...I hope she does become a teacher...what a great profession (especially in June, July, and August!)

Ella loves being creative.  She enjoys coloring and writing short stories.  She LOVES to shop, watch movies, play outside, and now, play her Wii. 

She's a tough cookie--stubborn and strong-willed, a bit moody and unpredictable, NOT someone who does well on little sleep.  The tween and teen years will be interesting if they're anything like her first 7 years!!

She's a complicated little girl.  She reminds me so much of myself and my personality...
I wish her an amazing year being 7.  I hope she continues to discover and grow in all aspects.  And last I hope she knows how much she is loved by so many.  Happy Birthday, Ella Bella!

Angels Among Us

January 10th is not an easy day.  January 10th, 2008 was the hardest day of my life.  On that day, I had to say good-bye to one very important person, my mom.  Life continuted to move forward after that day but not a day goes by that I don't think of her and wish I could have her back.  HOWEVER, I know and believe that everything happens for a reason and January 10th, 2008 happened for a reason.  There is a country song out right now and there is one part of the song that says:

Oh I cried when my momma passed away
And now I got an angel
Looking out for me today
So nothing’s a mistake

I would love to have one more day with her, one more phone call with her, one more visit at the the kitchen table, but since I can't have those wishes granted, I will be more than satisfied knowing that I will ALWAYS have an angel watching over me and my girls. 

There have been numerous times when my mom has made her presence known.  I will never forget the time I was rushing Lexi to the ER with a possible broken nose.  I was crying and so upset, but when I turned on the road to the hospital, the song, I Hope You Dance, came on the radio.  This is the song we played at her funeral at her request.  Or the time I had to drop off something at Ella's Girl Scout leader's house and when I pulled up to the address, it was my mom's childhood home on Southside.  Or all the times I have seen rainbows in the wintertime.  The FIRST time I saw a rainbow in the winter was the day of my mom's funeral.  I didn't even realize that rainbows in the winter could happen.  Now when I see a rainbow, I feel comforted and reminded that I am never without my mom.

I don't know where I'm at in this whole grieving process.  I don't know if there will ever be a time that I don't tear up when I think of her.  I don't know if there will ever be a January 10th that doesn't make my heart hurt.  But I do know that I have 4 daughters and since tomorrow is not a guarantee, I will be the best mom I can be...with the help of an angel.