Well, look at this...2 in a row! 

Went school shopping in Duluth with Ella and Emma.  I was happy to go because well, I kinda like shopping.  Ella is another shopaholic.  Emma, on the other hand, must have asked me a million times after the first store if we could go home.  Little did she know that she only had 5 more hours to go!  Ha! 

I must have heard myself say, "No, I'm not buying that." a million times as well.  I wish I could splurge, but I had to, at one point, quickly remind Ella of the fact that we are a family of 6 stretching a teacher's salary as far as possible.  I think she got my point.

We got what we really needed--Ella needed pants, they both needed shoes, and Emma needed an entirely new wardrobe.  See for the past year, Emma has slowly redefined who she is and that, my friends, is a full-blown tomboy.  And in just the past week, she has completely purged all girl clothes from her closet and drawers leaving her with not much.  It was a bit frustrating because there were numerous new (girl) things we bought earlier this summer thinking she would wear them for kindergarten.  And at that point in her life, she liked them.  

Am I bothered by this preference?  NO.  Am I concerned about what kids may say to her and whether or not she allows it to affect her?  YES.  She is who she is and I love everything about her.  Not exactly crazy about the wardrobe issue but we will make it work.  There are bigger problems than that. 

Change

A few months ago, I posted saying that I would do better at posting.  I think, however, I've been using all my free time reading other blogs when I should be sitting my butt down to record what's happening in my world.  That was my whole point in starting this--for my kids to read what crazy thoughts mom had about being a mom. 

I think I even started to compare my life happenings to others--were they as exciting, as funny, as earth-shattering, as life-changing?  And I have realized that by doing that and not journaling, I was cheating my kids.  My mom's journal to me and my siblings is worth the world to me.  I can hear her voice, her sarcasm, her wit.  I want to leave that for my kids. 

So to begin, I have a few random thoughts:
The 2 older girls start back at school after Labor Day.  They are going on a bus this year.  It comes to our driveway at 6:50 in the A.M.!!!  To give you an understanding of how early that is, we (and I mean EVERYONE) haven't seen any time before 9:00 A.M. in several months.  We are night people, I guess. We are going to be hurtin' units as we adjust to this crazy hour.

For the past 2 years, I have been the "bus" leaving our house with 4 kids at 7:52 A.M. and arriving in the drop-off lane at 8:05 (on a good day).  Now, they will be riding the bus for an hour to get to the same place. We shall see how they handle it.  I am feeling completely unsettled about this decision. 

I feel that the house is going to be unbelievably quiet this year.  The twins, (again, on a good day), will play together for hours.  Will I be bored?  Will I stay motivated?  Should I get a job?  Should I start working on my teaching license?  For the past 3 years, especially, there hasn't been a lot of down time.  And sometimes, I don't "relax" very well--gotta be doing something or I feel guilty.  I don't like guilt either.

I guess I don't do well with change.  I shouldn't feel that change has to be painful, or scary, or cause anxiety.  These changes in our household are inevitable.  It's just another chapter, not the end of the book!