December Reflection: Day 6

It's early on the 7th of December, so I'm reflecting about yesterdays happenings.  It all makes sense in my head--so the voices tell me!

Yesterday, I was feeling...

FESTIVE, so it was time for a few dozen Christmas cookies...the ones with the kisses in the middle.  I feel a bit edgy when I know there aren't any baked goods in the house.  My mom is completely to blame for this NEED.  We were kinda spoiled growing up when it came to baked treats.

PROUD to see Ella performing in her new gymnastics class.  She moved up to Level 2 and is loving it.  I can't wait to see how far she goes with it. 

completely OVER-THE-MOON EXCITED to get a text from Auntie Laura saying she found Emma's 5 library books at her house.  I could not understand what could have happened to them and searched this entire house.  And I did not have the extra funds to buy these books especially this month!  My kids weren't concerned about the cost...they were worried I was going to jail. 

and SADDENED by Ella's explosive break-down before bed.  It came out of nowhere and she was so angry at me.  She hasn't had a meltdown like that in a really long time.  In the stressful moments, I stayed as calm as possible.  I always feel afterwards that I could have handled it better or differently.  She hasn't apologized yet and I hope she realizes that one is necessary.  Live and Learn....

December Reflection: Day 4

O.K...I missed Day 3.  I've always like even numbers better.

Today, I felt...

GRATEFUL for my health.  After an "eventful" Friday night with the flu, I am glad to be upright and feeling better.  I am also so very grateful for my take-charge sister who, while driving to the cities, made some phone calls to my sister-in-law and dad to let them know I was very ill and needed help with the kids.  I am so GRATEFUL for those 2 who dropped what they were doing to take the girls out of the house and watch them for the day.  GRATEFUL, BLESSED, THANKFUL!!

SAD because Grandma Pat passed away yesterday and sad for the family members who did not get to fly down to Florida to see her in time.  She was a really "cool" great-grandma to my girls.  So glad they got to spend time with her this summer.

EXCITED to have my husband back in Minnesota.  He's been gone since Wednesday in Montana.  It will be nice to put him back to work around here!  Is it my turn for a vacation....?????

SLIGHTLY SHOCKED to hear that Grandpa Al's choice of movie last night while watching Emma was "Dumb and Dumber".  I guess it's never too early to start watching the "classics". 

December Reflection: Day 2

Today, I got MAD when my kids did not eat their dinner which was planned for THEM, not me, because I do not get real excited for mac and cheese and frozen chicken patties and then they asked for every snack at bedtime because they were SO HUNGRY!  Man, that irks me.  And yes, I got on my soap box about this and I'm sure they "digested" every word of it.

Today, I LAUGHED when Maija pointed to a bright yellow sticker dot on her library book and said, "Look Mom, it's on sale!"  Such a proud moment that was.  I have taught them well.  We DO NOT buy anything that does not have a bright SALE sticker on it!  And preferably one that says, "CLEARANCE"!

Today, I felt TORN when Maija cried throughout ECFE class because she knew I had to leave for 20 minutes for "Parent Time".  She just knew it was coming and she just kept telling me she wanted to go home.  Part of me says she's just 3.  Let her feel safe and keep her in my lap 'til she's ready.  But I guess at 3, she's supposed to get used to me leaving and coming back.  I guess I just didn't feel like having a life lesson with her today.  Today, I just wanted to let her be little.

Today, I felt PISSED OFF.  Pissed off at CANCER and that it is trying to take the life of another wonderful person in this family.  Josh's Grandma Pat, who was just here in Minnesota in August, looking amazing, funny as always, sharing memories, is in hospice care fighting to hang on.  I pray for her and that she finds strength, comfort, and peace.

 

Things I Love

Here's a few things that make me smile:

1.  Earlier this week, Lexi sat bravely in the chair at the beauty salon and got at least 4 inches chopped off.  She now has a cute, chin-length bob.  For the first time, there is a noticeable difference in the twins.  I love seeing them branch off and become their own little people. 

2.  I can't get enough of the Fall colors around our house.  I told Josh how funny it is that every year the leaves change color and yet every year, I am completely in awe.  It is so beautiful.  It's like my eyes can't get enough of the brilliant colors.  What a treat before winter comes.

3.  I love my husband for taking such good care of me this week--I had a small procedure done removing some "skin lesions" as the doctor called them.  He stopped and bought me lots of bandages, took the day off of work, bought me a dozen roses, let me rest, changed bandages, checked on me through texts...what a nice guy!  I love him.

4.  I am feeling so blessed to have our neighbors Andy and Val.  They love our kids and don't mind when Emma rings their doorbell and asks for an Oreo.  Val has helped watch the kids several times in the last few weeks and she LOVES that she can help.  It's so nice to have them in our lives.

5.  I love quiet time like right now.  The twins are still sleeping and I did not crawl back in bed.  I watched some news, folded laundry, did some Christmas shopping on Amazon, and now blogging.  My ears are so very HAPPY!

6.  For 3 months, Ella slept in her sister's room on an air mattress.  She finally moved back to her room and was sleeping on her bed.  Now, she is sleeping on her wood floor with a few blankets under a sheet she calls a tent.  I don't get it but now it's kinda funny.  I wonder where she will be sleeping next!?

7.  School is going well for everyone.  LOVE!

8.  In a few days, it is October.  I can't wait to get out the Halloween decorations--I went a little overboard when they went on clearance last year.  I love all things spooky!

9.  Everyone is HEALTHY.

10.  And last but to least, it's FRIDAY!

Sometimes, things just work out

Our first week of school is (almost) in the books and it couldn't have gone any smoother. 

Monday began with the greatest gift of all time.  Lexi, at the ripe old age of 3 years and 5 months, gave up diapers.  Well, actually she had no choice because we used up the last box and I REFUSED to give in to another.  This attempt at potty training began just like my last attempt 3 months ago--she wore underwear, but this girl has THE MOST AMAZING BLADDER STRENGTH.  She held it for over 24 hours.  Can you even imagine?  She didn't pee until I put her in a warm shower and made her go in there.  I, again, was beyond frustrated, but then on the evening of Day #2, she did it and it just clicked and she's been going on the potty non-stop with a big ole' smile on her face.

Ella LOVES riding the school bus.  In fact, this bus riding thing has actually changed my oldest daughter into a civil, jump out of bed and greet the morning kind of person.  Last year when I was driving, there was moaning and grunting.  I had to be on her case to get ready.  Now she's on Emma's case because "THE BUS IS COMING!"  I even told her today how I have never seen her this happy in the morning.  Thank you Virginia Bus Transportation!

Emma is doing well with the change from home life to every day kindergarten.  She is a girl of few words when it comes to the details of her day.  She needs to get more sleep I think--I'm still trying to adjust everyone's bedtimes.  She said she made a new friend--a boy named Dawson.  I'm happy that she's already comfortable going and we don't have tears or scared feelings about leaving home. 

And now, I am sitting here in a quiet house.  The twins are still sleeping.  Josh left for work.  I have the option of going back to bed (which I've done a couple times this week, not going to lie) or being productive or taking a really long shower or sitting on the deck or...

I have quickly realized this week that I am going to have more opportunities to get things accomplished, relax, make some better suppers!  That lasts, however, until 3:30 which is when the girls come home.  Then it's back to reality!

Well, look at this...2 in a row! 

Went school shopping in Duluth with Ella and Emma.  I was happy to go because well, I kinda like shopping.  Ella is another shopaholic.  Emma, on the other hand, must have asked me a million times after the first store if we could go home.  Little did she know that she only had 5 more hours to go!  Ha! 

I must have heard myself say, "No, I'm not buying that." a million times as well.  I wish I could splurge, but I had to, at one point, quickly remind Ella of the fact that we are a family of 6 stretching a teacher's salary as far as possible.  I think she got my point.

We got what we really needed--Ella needed pants, they both needed shoes, and Emma needed an entirely new wardrobe.  See for the past year, Emma has slowly redefined who she is and that, my friends, is a full-blown tomboy.  And in just the past week, she has completely purged all girl clothes from her closet and drawers leaving her with not much.  It was a bit frustrating because there were numerous new (girl) things we bought earlier this summer thinking she would wear them for kindergarten.  And at that point in her life, she liked them.  

Am I bothered by this preference?  NO.  Am I concerned about what kids may say to her and whether or not she allows it to affect her?  YES.  She is who she is and I love everything about her.  Not exactly crazy about the wardrobe issue but we will make it work.  There are bigger problems than that. 

Change

A few months ago, I posted saying that I would do better at posting.  I think, however, I've been using all my free time reading other blogs when I should be sitting my butt down to record what's happening in my world.  That was my whole point in starting this--for my kids to read what crazy thoughts mom had about being a mom. 

I think I even started to compare my life happenings to others--were they as exciting, as funny, as earth-shattering, as life-changing?  And I have realized that by doing that and not journaling, I was cheating my kids.  My mom's journal to me and my siblings is worth the world to me.  I can hear her voice, her sarcasm, her wit.  I want to leave that for my kids. 

So to begin, I have a few random thoughts:
The 2 older girls start back at school after Labor Day.  They are going on a bus this year.  It comes to our driveway at 6:50 in the A.M.!!!  To give you an understanding of how early that is, we (and I mean EVERYONE) haven't seen any time before 9:00 A.M. in several months.  We are night people, I guess. We are going to be hurtin' units as we adjust to this crazy hour.

For the past 2 years, I have been the "bus" leaving our house with 4 kids at 7:52 A.M. and arriving in the drop-off lane at 8:05 (on a good day).  Now, they will be riding the bus for an hour to get to the same place. We shall see how they handle it.  I am feeling completely unsettled about this decision. 

I feel that the house is going to be unbelievably quiet this year.  The twins, (again, on a good day), will play together for hours.  Will I be bored?  Will I stay motivated?  Should I get a job?  Should I start working on my teaching license?  For the past 3 years, especially, there hasn't been a lot of down time.  And sometimes, I don't "relax" very well--gotta be doing something or I feel guilty.  I don't like guilt either.

I guess I don't do well with change.  I shouldn't feel that change has to be painful, or scary, or cause anxiety.  These changes in our household are inevitable.  It's just another chapter, not the end of the book!