Angels Among Us

January 10th is not an easy day.  January 10th, 2008 was the hardest day of my life.  On that day, I had to say good-bye to one very important person, my mom.  Life continuted to move forward after that day but not a day goes by that I don't think of her and wish I could have her back.  HOWEVER, I know and believe that everything happens for a reason and January 10th, 2008 happened for a reason.  There is a country song out right now and there is one part of the song that says:

Oh I cried when my momma passed away
And now I got an angel
Looking out for me today
So nothing’s a mistake

I would love to have one more day with her, one more phone call with her, one more visit at the the kitchen table, but since I can't have those wishes granted, I will be more than satisfied knowing that I will ALWAYS have an angel watching over me and my girls. 

There have been numerous times when my mom has made her presence known.  I will never forget the time I was rushing Lexi to the ER with a possible broken nose.  I was crying and so upset, but when I turned on the road to the hospital, the song, I Hope You Dance, came on the radio.  This is the song we played at her funeral at her request.  Or the time I had to drop off something at Ella's Girl Scout leader's house and when I pulled up to the address, it was my mom's childhood home on Southside.  Or all the times I have seen rainbows in the wintertime.  The FIRST time I saw a rainbow in the winter was the day of my mom's funeral.  I didn't even realize that rainbows in the winter could happen.  Now when I see a rainbow, I feel comforted and reminded that I am never without my mom.

I don't know where I'm at in this whole grieving process.  I don't know if there will ever be a time that I don't tear up when I think of her.  I don't know if there will ever be a January 10th that doesn't make my heart hurt.  But I do know that I have 4 daughters and since tomorrow is not a guarantee, I will be the best mom I can be...with the help of an angel.